Bursting Bubbles

You ever have it where something you believe to be held true is actually a lie?

I'm not necessarily talking about Santa Claus and the Easter bunny. 

"I have health insurance, therefore all my healthcare is free!"  I spent $80 to tell my doctor that I have no questions or concerns at my annual visit.

"Stain-resistant tablecloth!"  Didn't stand up to my husband's red wine spill.

"Clump-proof mascara!"  Not so much, Spider-Eyes.  

In the spirit of disappointing people, I've compiled a list of "foods that sound nutritious but really don't have much of anything good."  Or FTSNBRDHMOAG for short.  

1. Granola.
Shocker.  Oats?  Gooooood.  Nuts?  Goooood.  Coat them in sugar and call it a cereal?  Not good.  One cup of granola cereal has over twice as many calories, and almost twice as much sugar, as one cup of Lucky Charms.  Better choices would be more basic whole grain cereals, such as bran flakes, oats, Fiber One flakes, or Kashi. 


2. Granola bars
 Not surprising given what I just said about granola.  Many granola bars, especially Kudos and Sunbelt brands, are essentially candy bars.  Yes they have oats, but the power of oats gets smothered when they're coated in sugar syrup and chocolate.  Even though little Quaker granola bars that are geared towards kids don't really have a whole lot going for them.  They're low calorie (90) but lack any fiber or protein.  Instead try a granola bar with less than 10 grams of sugar and at least 3 grams of protein- Kashi makes some good ones.

3. Cereal bars
We're talking Nutri-Grain type bars and those "milk & cereal" bars.  Again, they are high in sugar and lack fiber.  Don't be fooled by any pictures of fruit on the box.  Choose a whole grain cereal and actual piece of fruit.  Are we in such a hurry that we need strawberry goo instead of actual strawberries?

4. 100-calorie Snack Packs
Can you think of a less satisfying food than a handful of mildly-Oreo-tasting wafers?  Guess what- if you truly want an Oreo, go have one.  It's 70 calories, and tastes a heck of a lot better than it's substitute.

5. Activia Yogurt
Ahh yes, poop yogurt.  TMI, Jamie Lee Curtis.  My beef against Activia isn't major, but the message is that all yogurts have healthy gut bacteria.  You don't have to pay a premium for this stuff.  Just get whatever lowfat yogurt is on sale.  Nonfat plain Greek yogurt has less sugar and 3-4 times the protein of Activia for about the same calories.  Nice swap.  Your gut will still punish thank you.

6. Juice smoothies
I'm talking about those Odwalla, Naked, and Bolthouse brand juice mixes.  Here's an example of why I'm not in love with these- in the Naked strawberry banana flavor, there are the equivalent of 22 strawberries, 1 1/3 banana, and 1 3/4 apple.  Now, you'd have a hard time eating all that solid fruit, but in juice form, it's easy to drink down the entire 16-oz bottle (which is actually two servings).  That packs a ton of sugar, and you miss out on the natural fiber and satisfying-ness of eating the whole fruit.
Smoothies aren't a total no- just make sure that you never drink more fruit than you'd normally eat, and add some nonfat Greek yogurt as a base to provide some protein.  Bonus if you add a teaspoon of ground flaxseed for some healthy omega-3 fats.

Any more bubbles I ought to be bursting?  Nutrition can be tricky stuff, and I never claim to have it totally right either. 

Don't ever quote me on that though.