A Fungus Among Us

I don't like mushrooms.

They're just...no. 

The smell, the texture- all wrong.

So for a girl who really isn't into mushrooms, I still find myself eating them.  The secret is chopping them really tiny and adding a billion other ingredients.  Like with these meatballs.

Turkey Wild Rice Meatballs
1 lb lean ground turkey
1 can cooked wild rice
1 cup finely chopped baby portabello mushrooms
1/2 cup finely chopped yellow onion
1 egg
1/2 cup whole wheat bread crumbs
1 tablespoon chopped fresh sage
1/2 teaspoon salt and pepper, each

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Coat a baking dish with nonstick cooking spray.
2. In a large bowl, combine all of your ingredients.  Stir with a stiff spoon, or else just use your hands to mush it all together. 
3. Form into 1.5 inch balls and place in the baking dish.
4. Bake 25-30 minutes, or until internal temp reaches 165 degrees.

Recipe makes 24 meatballs.  Serving size = 4 meatballs.  I don't know why I was so stingy with my plate.  I definitely went back for more.

Per serving: 208 calories, 17 g carbs, 6 g fat, 18 g protein.

You could get more creative here- make them into patties to bake in the oven for a burger, make into a meatloaf, try grilling it, etc. I just like making meatballs because they're easy to freeze and portion out for future lunches. 

The mushroom acts as a filler (and some would say "flavor enhancer") to provide substance with minimal calories.  That whole cup of mushrooms is only 40 calories! 

If you got excited by this mushroom recipe, don't get your hopes up.  Unlike zucchini, which I happily turned into cookies, I will not be getting funky with fungus anytime soon.

The Trap

Cruise the aisles of the grocery store and you can find a whole lot of seemingly healthy foods.  Well, maybe not healthy, but "less offensive" foods- like sugar free cookies, or baked potato chips.

But are those things really any better?

Nope.

And neither are these cookies.  Let's be real- adding zucchini does not make them something you should be eating morning, noon, and night, but you might as well add a li'l extra nutrition to your sugar & fat.

Zucchini Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 stick butter, softened 

1/2 cup white sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups all-purpose flour 

1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt 

1 smallish zucchini, finely grated (you want it to measure approximately 1 cup of grated zucchini)
2 cups dark chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Cream butter and sugars until light and fluffy.  Beat in egg and vanilla.  

3. In a medium bowl, combine flour with soda and salt.  Gradually stir in to the butter mixture.

4. Soak up excess moisture from grated zucchini with a few paper towels.  Stir in zucchini to dough.  Lastly stir in chocolate chips.

5. Plop on a cookie sheet and bake for 15-20 minutes, or until golden brown.  They stay puffy and don't really spread as much as a regular cookie.  

The recipe should make about a dozen and a half cookies.  I got a little overzealous with the plopping and ended up with some ginormous cookies.  Fortunately I am manly enough to handle a ginormous cookie.

Nice and puffy when baked.

You can't see or taste the zucchini.  Tasty as these are, I think I'd better find healthier ways to use up the never-ending zucchini from my garden. 

Dave update

I woke up on Sunday morning and found out Dave had un-cocooned himself.

We opened the jar outside to help him dry off his wings.

And then he readied himself for his first majestical flight...

...and flew right into the side door of my car.

...and then fell to the pavement.

Very anti-climactic.  I left at that point.  Either he regained his pride and flight skills, or a bird came and ate him up.  Waaaaaay to go, Dave.

In other news, we were gifted a ginormous zucchini.

This thing should've been picked about 2 years ago.

It's taller than the dog.

It nearly covers the TV screen.

And I couldn't put it down the laundry chute if I tried.

That, plus the 12 other zucchini picked from our garden, gave me an excess to play around with.

I found a recipe for zucchini-corn fritters, only being the fun sucker calorie saver that I am, I baked them instead of deep frying them.  Guess what?  They taste just the same.  And that taste happens to be really really good.

Zucchini Corn Cakes
2 cups shredded zucchini
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups fresh corn kernels
1 small yellow onion, finely diced
Pinch of jarred minced garlic
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup cornmeal
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 egg
3/4 cup skim milk + 1 teaspoon lemon juice (to make faux buttermilk)
1/2 tablespoon olive or canola oil

1. Sprinkle half of the salt onto the shredded zucchini and let sit for a few minutes.  The salt will help pull the moisture out of the zucchini.  If you skip this step, you will get soggy cakes.  Pat the zucchini with a few paper towels to squeeze up excess juice.
2. In a large pan, heat oil over medium-high heat.  Saute onions until tender.  Add corn kernels and garlic.  Stir until corn is cooked, about 3-4 minutes.  Remove from heat. 
3. Whisk together dry ingredients (flour, cornmeal, baking soda) together in a large bowl.  In a smaller bowl, combine "buttermilk" with the egg. 
4. Add zucchini, corn/onion mix, and liquid to the dry ingredients bowl.  Add remaining salt.  Stir just until combined.
5. Go preheat your oven to 350.  I suppose in hindsight this should've been step #1.  And I am too lazy to cut and paste right now.
6. I used a whoopie pie pan, but you could use a muffin tin or even just a cookie sheet for these.  I made regular size and minis.  Total baking time will vary depending on what baking item you use, but it will range from 12-20 minutes.  They are done when the edges turn deep golden brown. 

Per serving (1 regular or 2 minis): 80 calories

Recipe makes 3 dozen regulars.

Now what to do with the beast squash?

It's Dave

Two weeks ago while weeding the front landscaping, I found a monarch caterpillar.  Being the eight year old that I am, I decided to keep it and put it in a jar.

 I named him Dave.  Super creative. 

I even went to the park to pick some milkweed leaves to feed him.

*Such* a responsible caterpillar owner.

But then after 2 days of eating leaves and pooping an astounding five times his body weight, he cocooned himself.

And now I wait 8-12 days for him to emerge. 

Innnnnnn the meantime, I created a new favorite dinner + side dish.  Both are pretty easy.  You know that's how I roll.

The basics: a package of cheese tortellini, a bag of butternut squash (you could go the fresh route- about 2 cups worth), and a container of baby portobellas.  Not pictured: 2-3 sage leaves, and a chunk of fontina cheese- enough to give you 3/4 cup shredded.

For the side dish I cooked up some of the green beans from my garden, flavored with lemon juice, shallots, and garlic.

Back to the entree.  Microwave your squash and chop up your mushrooms.  I am not a mushroom person at all, but if they're in small enough pieces, I don't mind.  Toss both with the sage (tear it into small pieces), 2 teaspoons olive oil, and salt and pepper.  Spread out on a baking sheet and roast at 400 degrees until mushrooms are browned and softened.  Stir it once or twice while it's cooking.

Before

 After.

While that's in the oven, cook up your tortellini according to the package directions.  Reserve 1 cup of the pasta water before you drain it.  You'll probably only need 1/2 cup, but better be on the conservative side.

Combine pasta with roasted squash & mushrooms, stir in shredded fontina and enough pasta water to create a "sauce."

And for your green beans, of which I had about 30
Snip the tips and ends before boiling.  Boil until they're softened a bit but still have a slight crunch.  Place in an ice water bath to stop the cooking process.  Heat up 1 teaspoon olive oil in a pan and add chopped shallot.  Saute until shallot is softened.  Add green beans, 1/2 teaspoon chopped garlic and 2 teaspoons lemon juice.

Dee-lish.

 My portions are a little off here- the green bean recipe yielded 3 servings and the pasta entree yielded 4 servings.  Oh well. 

Squash tortellini: 450 calories
Green beans: 80 calories

Nature's Bounty

The other night the husband and I were outside and I was admiring how lush and bountiful my li'l garden has become. 

 His response?

"Yeah, 'cause that's where I shoveled all the dog crap from the winter."

We're so suburban hipster that even our manure is local. 

Here's my haul so far:

I have a rogue squash plant growing in the row of carrots.  Whoops.  At first I thought it was a zucchini plant since the leaves are similar.  What's the deal with the short fat zucchini?

Nope- this ought to turn into a normal yellow spaghetti squash as it grows.

In other strange happenings around our house, I think one of the dogs is becoming co-dependent on an inanimate object.  Like a four year old who still runs around with a chewed up pacifier in his mouth, Shelby has taken to wearing her chewed-out ring of a frisbee around her neck at all times.

When I'm reading out on the porch:

When I'm getting ready in the morning:

When she's on her way outside:

   
What. Ever.  As long as she keeps contributing to the thriving garden, I'm okay with it.  But still slightly grossed out.