Dairy Queen

Among all the "here's how not to kill your new baby" packets and pamphlets I was given in the hospital was a recipe for "lactation cookies."

What.

The.

Heck.

The tagline underneath the title stated "these are made to help nursing mothers' milk supply.  They taste great and really work.  Eat 4 or more per day."

Eat cookies to produce more milk?  Uhhh, if I *have* to.  Though, being a dietitian, I had to tweak the recipe a bit.  I can't in good faith put a whole cup of butter and 2 cups of sugar into a recipe and claim it to be healthy.

Lactation Cookies
1/2 cup coconut oil (solid form)
4 oz unsweetened applesuce
2/3 cup white sugar
2/3 cup brown sugar (or you could just do one type of sugar)
4 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons ground flaxseeds
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups whole wheat pastry flour (or reg whole wheat flour)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
3 cups dry oats
1 cup dark chocolate chips
2 tablespoons Brewer's yeast (I got this online, though a natural food store would probably carry it)
3 tablespoons unsweetened coconut flakes

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2. Mix flaxseed and water, set aside for 3-5 minutes.
3. Beat coconut oil until smooth.  Add applesauce.
4. Add in eggs and beat.
5. Stir flaxseed mix into oil mix and add vanilla. Beat until well blended.
6. Sift dry ingredients, except oats, coconut, and chocolate chips. Add oil mix to dry mix.
7. Stir in the oats, coconut, and chocolate chips.
8. Drop onto parchment-paper-lined baking sheets and bake 8-12 minutes, or until slightly browned.  These cookies will be soft and chewy.

Makes about 3 dozen cookies.  Per cookie: 110 calories, 18 g carbs, 3 g fat, 2.6 grams protein, 8.3 grams sugar, 2 grams fiber.

I kept telling my husband to eat a dozen and see what happens.  Brewer's yeast is the ingredient that supposedly promotes lactation, though I couldn't find any scientific research to back that up.

Still, if you're a nursing or pumping mama, it doesn't hurt to try something like these.  Next I'll have to experiment and try adding peanut butter instead of the coconut and chocolate.

 Yes, I kept the baby in the kitchen while I made these.  Don't worry though- I kept him at least 6 inches away from the blazing hot oven, and had him organize the knife drawer after his nap.

Mmm...lactation.

Baby, baby

You know how when you're invited to a party, you're not supposed to show up early.  I mean the hostess is still probably doing last-minute cooking and preparation, and nothing's more awkward than standing waiting for a party to start.  You show up a strategic 5-10 minutes late and all is smooth.

Well Mac caught me doing "last minute cooking and preparation."  Born at 38 weeks, 5 days.  Yeah baby.  Not only did he come early, but he came quickly- about 90 minutes from water breaking to birth.  No time for an epidural, which totally makes me feel like a tough motha.

 Sure, he looks like an angel from this viewpoint.  Be glad I left out the spewage from down south.

 I mean SERIOUSLY?  He out-cutes himself every day.

 It's ok li'l dude.  I'd have that same expression if I realized *I* am your mom.

"Hey mom, sorry I missed your 30th birthday.  Open me up down below to reveal your gift!"

Yup, we're having fun. And yes, I'm glad the internet did not exist when I was a baby.

The final stretch

Last week I made a rambling post about li'l fetus, and I forgot about some details.

1. What about the rest of the eggos?
Let's just say that Embyros on Ice! is not the newest kiddie ice capades show coming to town.  We have a bunch o' future babies in a freezer.  Thankfully not our freezer.  One that I'm assuming is kept much cleaner than ours. 

2. What about those adorable doggies of yours- how are they coping?
The chunky dense one is clueless.  No surprise.  The skinny obsessive compulsive one totally knows something's up. 

Since our childless days are numbered, I wanted to make a recipe that is a little fancier snazzier more labor intensive than the bowls of Cheerios we will inevitably be having for dinner soon.  W-o-r-t-h the work here, people.  Go make these.  And try not to have nightmares about if Embyros on Ice! was a real thing. 

Greek Egg Rolls with Tzatziki Sauce

For the sauce:
1.5 cups nonfat plain Greek yogurt
1/8 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1/2 cup peeled and grated cucumber, with excess moisture squeezed out

Combine all ingredients in a small bowl.  Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve.

For the rolls:
15 egg roll wrappers
2 lbs ground lamb (I found this in the freezer section)
1 2.25 oz can sliced black olives, finely chopped
3 cups fresh spinach, rinsed and dried
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon oregano
8 oz crumbled feta cheese
3 teaspoons corn starch + 3 teaspoons water
1 Tbsp olive oil

1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  Line a baking sheet with tin foil and spray with olive oil spray (or else smear a bit of reg olive oil on the foil).
2. Saute lamb until thoroughly cooked.  Try to break apart any large chunks into crumbles.  Soak up grease with a paper towel. Remove from heat and stir in spinach, olives, and seasonings.  Cover in order to let the remaining steam/heat wilt the spinach.
3. Once mixture has cooled to about room temperature, stir in the feta. 

4. Take an egg roll wrapper and lay it diamond-side rather than square-side.  Put a heaping spoonful of meat mixture in the lower third.  Bring up the bottom corner, fold in the sides, and then roll upwards.  Dip your finger into the cornstarch mixture to help "glue" the flap.  Place flap-side down on your baking sheet. 
5. I overfilled mine and ended up with 14 instead of 15. 
6. You can ignore step #5.
7. Brush a bit of olive oil over the tops of the rolls before putting in the oven (helps them crisp up and brown nicely without having to fry).
8. Bake for 20 minutes or so, flipping once or twice. 
9. Serve with a nice blob of tzatziki sauce.

I would say a serving size is two rolls (about 160 calories per roll) but I can claim, at least for a few more days, that 7 lb fetus surely needs his own egg roll.